The X Factor of Bravery

Anxiety. Problems. Stress. Repeat.

Human beings were never meant to live without problems. They are inevitable. But one thing must never stop: movement. Keep moving forward. Because every problem exists for a reason. Whether you believe it or not—you must.

A problem only becomes a problem when the human mind decides to see it as one. So how do we change that perception?

The answer is simple, but difficult: face it.

The human mental system consists of two main components: the heart and the mind. The heart generates values—what we believe to be true, whether those truths come from divine guidance or from desire. The mind’s role is to verify and process them. Roughly speaking, that’s how it works.

This reminds me of a quote by Rian in the novel Mariposa:

“Don’t just use your heart—use your brain too. They are meant to complement each other, not dominate one another.”

From my experience, most problems are actually trivial. What makes them heavy is our own tendency to overthink. The mind drags memories from the past—old wounds, old failures—and pulls us deeper into despair. We become slow. We delay. And the problem grows, spreading everywhere.

Eventually, we reach a breaking point. We feel stuck. Stressed. If left untreated, this state can spiral into something far worse. Do not let that happen.

Break your idealism.

Idealism plays a major role in how heavy a problem feels. Idealism is an abstract form of thought—a vision of how life should be. It can be healthy or destructive.

Healthy idealism guides a person toward a broad, meaningful goal while allowing time to shape the path. Destructive idealism, on the other hand, demands a very specific outcome. Because the path is so narrow, failure becomes almost inevitable—and when it happens, disappointment crushes the mind.

In Islam, for example, humans are encouraged to make God the ultimate goal of all goals. No matter what path they walk—joyful or painful—they return to Him as the anchor. This is an example of healthy idealism.

A dangerous form of idealism is when someone fixates on a single person as their destined life partner. By doing so, they unknowingly close countless other paths. If that dream collapses, everything collapses with it.

Even if you are an atheist, never build an idealism that is too specific. Placing “success” as the ultimate goal of life is risky. It is far better to choose “happiness.” A person may be poor, a laborer, even a beggar—and yet not miserable. Happiness is relative.

Break your idealism before it breaks you.

But if you are already trapped inside it, then break it from within the chaos. Because fundamentally, every problem can only be solved from two directions: changing the situation or changing yourself.

If the situation cannot be changed, then you must.

There are only two options left:

1. Leave your comfort zone and fight relentlessly to reach that ideal.
2. Or, if it proves impossible, erase that idealism and install a new one.

Most heavy problems demand the second option—changing ourselves. Yet even when we know this, the mind resists. We understand that change is necessary. We even know the only path forward. But we remain frozen.

Stuck.

Yes—being stuck is common. People who realize they must change often find themselves unable to move because their own thoughts sabotage them. At that moment, what they truly need is courage.

Courage to shatter their mindset. Courage to destroy their idealism.

But where does courage come from?

The honest answer: don’t overthink it—do it now.

Of course, that sounds too easy. Recklessness is the key, they say. But then comes the question: how do I become reckless?

You’re stuck again.

And this is where the X Factor comes in.

So, what is the X Factor?

The X Factor is a mysterious force that suddenly gives birth to boldness. You may be shy. You may be fearful by nature. And yet, when the X Factor arrives, all of that collapses. Nothing else is needed.

If you are searching for your X Factor, reconnect with those you love—and those you have hurt. And most importantly, ask the Creator of the universe.

Repair your relationships. Then ask Him politely. Calm yourself. Release anger. Close your eyes and lie down. Focus on what you feel in the left side of your chest. Stay there until only feeling remains.

At that moment, you feel weightless—like wind. You exist, but without emotion. No joy. No sadness. Just life itself.

That is when the heart is ready.

Say this: “I surrender. From here on, it is up to You.”

Surrender completely.

Then, sleep.